Still feeling like the worst mom ever because yesterday I hollered and cussed at my oldest child only to find that my babysitter was on the other side of the door (which is truly what bothered me, that my horrible-ness had been revealed, publicly), I stumbled on to Yet Another Working Mom’s blog. There I found myself in pretty good (or is it bad?) company, seeing as I’m a white woman, reasonably educated, with a computer and a fast connection, who likes Idol and wine (but usually beer) and rates her own mothering capabilities in the ‘has not distinguished herself’ category.
I should strive to be a better mom, I know, but knowing I’m not alone in my suck-i-ness makes me feel just a tad bit better about having a human-sized temper, about not wanting to be accosted THE VERY MINUTE I walk in the door after an hour-long commute. And yet, I still feel like I’ve missed the mark–and rightly so.
Perhaps I’m missing my mother, too, who has been travelling; I usually call her at such times and simply say “I’m so sorry, Mommy, I’m really sorry.” To which she usually responds with a hearty chuckle, then sings the song she sang to me as I was growing up: “I hope you grow up and have children … just like you.” (The other phrase this a-theistic woman used to utter (or was it mutter) at me was “God’ll get ya!” Boy, did I get got by God. Three times over. )
Still, my bad-mood-baby and her foul-mouthed-mommy had a moment when we exchanged remorse and vowed to do better to/by/for each other. What else can you do when you are fully and only human?