I’m not sure what it says about your life when you are actually looking forward to a day home alone doing laundry, but I will admit that I’m really excited about doing just that today. It is the last full day of school for the girls and may very well be my last full day home alone for quite some time. But that’s a topic for another day.
Truly, the other thing I’m doing today is writing. It is the final project for the class I took this last quarter–my first introduction to graduate-level courses–and it was due yesterday. I just couldn’t pull it off. Luckily, I have understanding professors and a whole ‘nother week and an opportunity to present next week. Phew.
I was trying to make it too hard for myself. I was trying to write the Great UU novel in 10 pages or less. Just wasn’t working. Not as a kid story, not as a young adult story, not as decent fiction. As I drove to class late yesterday due to a child-care snafu not at all my doing and yet my job to fix, it dawned on me finally that I am not a very good fiction writer. Duh! It is what I’ve always aspired to be, but not what I do best. I get too involved in the character and forget about — oh, what’s it called? plot? action?
It was a long time coming, this awareness. I have neither made time for writing fiction nor given my mind the room and quiet it needs to hear the characters and the stories sneak in and plant seeds in my imagination. Part of that is life. But part of it, too, is the fact that I’m not wasting my writing energy. Nope, I’ve been spending it wisely in other areas. I just didn’t recognize those other ways of writing as valid because they weren’t what I always thought I wanted to do.
So, I’m tidying up the clutter today: the laundry, the projects, the desires held but not reached for. Perhaps it is that which I was truly looking forward to today. Setting things straight–in my house, in my head, in my heart.
Stand back–I’ve got my cleaning clothes on!